What the hell am I doing?

It’s 2011…if you are still unable to figure out the differences between your, yore and you’re you don’t deserve to belong to this society. You are just a complete dullard.

Having seen and heard Nicki Minaj for the first time on SNL she is just another awful performer who I will never take the time to listen to. I’m pretty sure she was on some mixtape I liked but I don’t remember since she is so obnoxious.

To start things off, my vision and basically body and allergies also are a disaster. I am basically allergic to most things green and/or living during the warm months.

Anyways, I am totally enjoying watching possibly the nerdiest shows on tv.

It was hard to turn down free beer at the holiday party today. It wasn’t hard at all to turn down the vegan “cold cut” sub.

I don’t want much right now out of life. I would be insanely happy if I could find a girl with something like F cup boobs and a big ass to love me. Big tits and a nice ass isn’t too much to ask for, is it?

I really wish I knew what was wrong with me.  When I am a regular person I am generally devoid of emotion.  Get me drunk, and I cry like a baby.  I really do want to be a compassionate person but I think the fact that I was raised in a family that never once talked about feelings and emotions fucked me up.  My brother is a drug dealer, out of my parent’s home.  Yet they don’t give a shit.  I fuck up in college and the wrath of god falls upon me.  Honestly I don’t know what to think.  I try to do right and I get nothing.  I fucking hate my family.  Maybe I really should cry when I see regular human beings pouring out their emotions and feelings, trying to do something to better humanity.  If nothing else, I would say that I am a fucking confused person, emotionally and I hate it.  FIX ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And who the fuck decided that if its not an American character, or British character, that you speak in a British accent?  Tom Cruise confounded me in his awful WW2 movie, and Jake Gyllenhal shouldn’t speak in a British accent when he’s playing a Persian.  All of the assholes in Hollywood should speak in the appropriate accent for whatever nationality their character is, don’t just default to a British accent like a lazy piece of shit. 

I would be Trent Reznor.  I just don’t understand how one person can make such amazing music yet be so sad.  I would rather be famous and sad than sad and anonymous  Maybe I just need some more motivation but honestly I hate myself at the moment.  Listening to NIN is a such a great release