What the hell am I doing?

I really wish I knew what was wrong with me.  When I am a regular person I am generally devoid of emotion.  Get me drunk, and I cry like a baby.  I really do want to be a compassionate person but I think the fact that I was raised in a family that never once talked about feelings and emotions fucked me up.  My brother is a drug dealer, out of my parent’s home.  Yet they don’t give a shit.  I fuck up in college and the wrath of god falls upon me.  Honestly I don’t know what to think.  I try to do right and I get nothing.  I fucking hate my family.  Maybe I really should cry when I see regular human beings pouring out their emotions and feelings, trying to do something to better humanity.  If nothing else, I would say that I am a fucking confused person, emotionally and I hate it.  FIX ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!